Last year, I started (romantically) liking a guy friend who I didn’t know too well at the time. He was a man of God, and is kind and funny – not to mention, an amazing musician. Honestly, I just wanted to learn more about him and to become better friends with him. Yet after a while, I felt that God was pulling me in another direction.
Part of me was (and still is a little) angry at God. I couldn’t understand why he led me to this guy who on paper was everything I want in a godly relationship.
But I’ve been trying to change my perspective, and in doing so, I realized God had two lessons for me:
The first lesson is simply to trust. I need to trust that God has a plan for me, a plan that hopefully includes meeting this kind of man. Yet I also need to trust Him even when I don’t get what I want, because I usually am unaware of what I really need.
The second thing God is telling me is that I need to be the kind of woman a godly man would be led to date. I realized I was so focused on what this guy had to offer me that I began to forget about my own spiritual battles. I became less attune to God’s voice and spirit – yet spiritual connection is something I highly value in a man. I had to ask myself, “How is it fair for God to let me date a godly man when I’m losing interest in being the godly woman this man needs?”
These are not easy lessons for me to learn, and I am learning them through heartache and disappointment. But I have to trust that He is in control and that He will guide my steps and that He knows what (and who) is best for me.